April 2009
March 2009
By all accounts, she did have a TREE-mendous time... →
Square Enix charges users for lube they use to...
LOS ANGELES (March 31, 2009) – Square Enix, Inc., the publisher of Square Enix® interactive entertainment products in North America, today announced the upcoming launch of the Square Enix Account System and Square Enix Security Token in Japan, North America and Europe on April 6, 2009 PDT. Offering additional account safeguards to players of FINAL FANTASY® XI, these new initiatives provide for a...
“Im like jay z except i sling lols out of a celica in the suburbs… And...”
– Tazar
I got a Kevin Smith joke in on this pitch!
Bryan: Azn joe on a street corner in kentucky in boy shorts and a mesh tank top dancing to niggatunes with a sign saying "asian semites 4 jesus fundrazr"
Bryan: Then we beat the shit out of him
Ron: Are you channeling Micheal Bay?
Bryan: I prefer to think hes channeling me
Ron: smoke bombs, explosions, and loud noises and shit
Bryan: The only difference is that i put blacks and chinks in my ideas
Ron: you are a humanitarian
Bryan: Hey new idea. We put smoke bombs up azn joes ass
Bryan: Then we beat the shit out of him while they're going off. And theres an american flag waving in the background. Use your internet superpowers to get paul rudd to be in it and help us beat him up. And kenny loggins can sing the caddyshack song in the background too
Ron: Can it have a giant spider?
Bryan: Well duh thats our ride. We can ghost ride the giant spider and shit
I might be able to get michel gondry and jim jarmusch to do some stuff too. Gondry can direct the scenes from azn joes perspective. Unicorns flying out of his ass and driving to get a pedicure in a cardboard car
Ron: Dude. Jarmusch + Dead man + Billy Bob = one of my favorite scenes in a movie ever. do we really have these type of convos?
Bryan: I like to think that somewhere jarmusch and gondry are having the same conversation over aim or msn webcam chat. They also compare printscreened photos of their webkins with each other too.
Ron: do you think they are wearing dallas cowgirl outfits also?
Bryan: They used to but they switched to the atlanta falcons cheerleader outfits after jarmusch got upset over the whole tony romo/jessica simpson debacle
Ron: Dude. We are not normal. this shit isnt healthy. this cowgirl outfit itches like a motherfucker
Bryan: Ya and the top is so tight on me my arms dont go down to my sides anymore. My ass looks pretty good tho.
Brian: Btw just in case we need it in the future we need to make friends with an indian. The dot head kind not the tomahawk guy
This is what idea pitches look like in my world......
Bryan: Black guys in a car wearing rice hats with tape over their eyesto keep them squinty. They're listening to jpop music until they see an azn person on the street corner they're coming up to. They switch over to jay z and pull off the rice hats until they
Bryan: Pass byy the old azn lady, then they go back to the jap music and eating fortune cookies
Ron: YOU ARE GOING PLACES!
Bryan: Then we beat the shit out of azn joe
Ron: word
Bryan: In fact every video we do from this point on has to end with that. It'll be our sit ubu sit
Ron: do we even have to shoot videos? Cant we just do that anyways?
Bryan: Yeah but if we film it other people can see it.And we can add crazy cartoon sounds to it too. Shits so cash
Ron: I'm in. You had me at "Black guys."
“Sorry about that. Im watching the first race of the season and this shit gets me...”
“There is not one F1 race in the U.S. or Canada this year? Fuck that! Come the...”
– Ron Workman
I can't believe I am reblogging this but here...
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Salutations
Stranger: Strangers give the best candy do you have candy?
You: no I have drugs. lots of drugs
Stranger: Ooo what kind?
You: more crystal meth then your colon has room for
Stranger: sounds delicious is it taken orally?
You: you smoke it
Stranger: Wat
You: wat. are you under 18
Stranger: yes Why?
You: sweet. its helping me masturbate
Stranger: Right now?
You: yes. AS WE SPEAK
Stranger: You sick fuck.
You: I'm covered in half a bottle of baby oil and 3 cans of Axe body spray
Stranger: Axe smells horrible
You: better than rotting flesh. there's like 3 dead bodies in my room
Stranger: Wat. Will you be my friend?
You: yes
Stranger: Yay
You: I need like 50 bucks
Stranger: My PENIS is around 2 inches.
You: whatever
Stranger: Fully erect.
You: statistically your larger than most gorillas
Stranger: I could really go for some arby's right now
You: I could go for some pussy, but its not in the cards
Stranger: what are you listening to right this very second? tell me that first.
You: a Ukrainian cover of Katy Perrys "hot and cold" can you stop being a fig for half a second? FIGS!!
Stranger: FIG?
You: I slowly unbutton your corset
Stranger: Ohh baby
You: I get stuck on the second to last one on the bottom seriously its not budging
Stranger: mmmm then wat
You: what the hell, its sewn together. hold on I'll get some scissors. ok back. there, that should do it
Stranger: fist pump
You: fist pumped! anyway I now try to take of your skirt
Stranger: Its superglued to my thighs
You: I flip you over the couch only to find we don't have couch just a large pile of dogs. I'm from Nebraska need any corn?
Stranger: I'm from Alabama
You: hot
Stranger: Need some gay cowboys? We have plenty
You: I rub my semi flaccid penis on your mobile home
Stranger: Chubby
You: thank you but I prefer my way
Stranger: Why.
You: it makes me harder. there we go! quick, these pills are $10 each
Stranger: Compare your hardness to a substance.
You: OAK
Stranger: You are soft.
You: I'm only a man dog cat thing
Stranger: I was thinking oatmeal.
You: I don't even know anymore
Stranger: manbearbig
You: listen kid, don't ever fuck around with genetics. having internal testicles is fun at first. but then you go sterile and stop producing testosterone
Stranger: you have a vagina.
You: both
Stranger: I DONT HAVE ACCESS TO THE INTERNET
You: are you a girl?
Stranger: Nooooooooooo.
You: will you marry me anyway?
Stranger: okay
You: Do you want to be tied up in the basement or shall I?
Stranger: Me.
You: I've got the cutest fishnets for you to get raped in
Stranger: I need to use the shitter before I get tied up
You: no time
Stranger: NO or it'll get everywhere
You: I smack you on the back of the head with a blackjack I pull off your pants only to discover your chastity belt
Stranger: with lazer walls
You: it has a numerical password
Stranger: Use Fire Blast.
Stranger: It's super effective
You: your semi flaccid penis drips with honey
You: I use razor leaf. I punch you in the stomach. dammit fight back, I can't get hard like this
Stranger: when do we get to fuck? I set up the video camera
You: I strap on my cockring and lube you up with the taco we didn't eat earlier
Stranger: hot sauce included?
You: YES
You: I grab your hair and throw you out the window. I jump out after. we grapple for a few moments before I finally jam my cock in your ear
Stranger: we have lacerations everywhere
You: my testicle are somewhere on a pricker plant
Stranger: You don't need it anyway
You: I uppercut you back into the submarine
Stranger: SONICBOOM
You: I flip you over and start humping like a rabid dog
Stranger: your dick falls off
You: I strap on a cactus
Stranger: Oh fuck it hurts
You: I give you the reach around
Stranger: FUCKING FUCK OF THE FUCK
You: I pull the cactus out and grab your face. The cactus explodes in an explosion of pulp needles and semen
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
8 bit meets Jay Z in mashup heaven. →
thanks Yashoki
“Reggie Fils-Aime, chief marketing officer for Nintendo of America, said...”
Video Game Makers Challenged by the Next Wave of... →
Wii Fit kills! 25 yr old man dies after using Wii... →
WatchPierre Michel : Fire Flower
I’m going through demo reels tonight and ran across a few old favorites. This video makes me want to learn Trapcode Particular right now. It makes me feel like I am not doing anything with my life when there are people out there making things this amazing and this beautiful.
Im fucking around with Tazar and Asian Joe making fake blood and dancing in front...
The Old Man and the Seymour →
justin:
giancarlofiorentini:
Full movie is now online!
Hoax Website Promising Great Tan From Computer... →
1 tag
WatchWorld this is Shig. Shig this is the world.
Enjoy.
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