mikeburns:

My Yelp review for Magic Johnson’s T.G.I. Fridays, written by a middle aged man who fancies himself as a creative writer, is terrible at it, and also has trouble being appropriate.
After a rough day at the DMV, I took my gal to Magic Johnson’s T.G.I. Fridays.  And lemme tell ya, folks, it was a slam dunk.  We sat in the bar where they had the Afro-American jams really groovin’.  Mario, our server, ran the point like a champ and made us feel like we were all-stars. 
We started off with the appetizer sampler platter which was enough to satisfy any big man.  The mozzarella sticks, potato skins, and buffalo wings really took it to our face holes.
Mario went 3 for 3 on passing me ice cold pints of Sam Adams.  And his ally-oop suggestion that the lady should have the Planter’s Punch was ready for the highlight reel.
I took a Magic shit in the can before we left.  The Sam Adams had me at the buzzer, and I hit three cars trying to back out of my space.  I just took off because, fuck them.
We also skipped out on the bill because stealing gets the lady all hot and bothered and that means I get to do sex to her vagina and/or put my penis in her mouth.
4.5 stars.  I took off half a star because there were too many brothers there.

mikeburns:

My Yelp review for Magic Johnson’s T.G.I. Fridays, written by a middle aged man who fancies himself as a creative writer, is terrible at it, and also has trouble being appropriate.

After a rough day at the DMV, I took my gal to Magic Johnson’s T.G.I. Fridays.  And lemme tell ya, folks, it was a slam dunk.  We sat in the bar where they had the Afro-American jams really groovin’.  Mario, our server, ran the point like a champ and made us feel like we were all-stars. 

We started off with the appetizer sampler platter which was enough to satisfy any big man.  The mozzarella sticks, potato skins, and buffalo wings really took it to our face holes.

Mario went 3 for 3 on passing me ice cold pints of Sam Adams.  And his ally-oop suggestion that the lady should have the Planter’s Punch was ready for the highlight reel.

I took a Magic shit in the can before we left.  The Sam Adams had me at the buzzer, and I hit three cars trying to back out of my space.  I just took off because, fuck them.

We also skipped out on the bill because stealing gets the lady all hot and bothered and that means I get to do sex to her vagina and/or put my penis in her mouth.

4.5 stars.  I took off half a star because there were too many brothers there.