Dear Keir Smith,  As I awoke to receive a package this morning I knew there was something nefarious at play when I read the label addressed to “Ron Workman - Official Adam Levine Fan Club of America.”  At that moment I realized it could have been any one of my asshole friends that play that song every time we are at a computer, in a car, near a jukebox, etc. It was only a few days ago in the car that I told a friend that I was over that song and that the novelty had worn off. He replied “Good, because I’m just starting to like it.” I thought he would at the top of my “Kunt Friends” leaderboard for a long time after that but in only a matter of days, you sir have usurped him.  Bravo sir. 
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Dear Keir Smith, 

As I awoke to receive a package this morning I knew there was something nefarious at play when I read the label addressed to “Ron Workman - Official Adam Levine Fan Club of America.”  At that moment I realized it could have been any one of my asshole friends that play that song every time we are at a computer, in a car, near a jukebox, etc. It was only a few days ago in the car that I told a friend that I was over that song and that the novelty had worn off. He replied “Good, because I’m just starting to like it.” I thought he would at the top of my “Kunt Friends” leaderboard for a long time after that but in only a matter of days, you sir have usurped him. 

Bravo sir.